Calvin and Hobbes vs Susie and Mr Bun
by Gray Bear King
Summary: An epic battle between the insane and the girly. Edited by Dr MilkyWay.
1. The Last Straw

"I can't believe I got the new Binky Betsy Doll." Said Susie.

"Be quiet Hobbes or she'll hear us." Said Calvin when they where in the bushes and Calvin had a slush ball.

"Take that Susie!" Calvin said as he threw the slush ball at Susie.

The slush ball hit Susie's new Binky Betsy Doll.

It fell and broke.

"WHO DID THAT?" Asked Susie with rage.

Calvin and Hobbes where gone in a flash.

"I KNOW YOU DID THAT CALVIN!" Yelled Susie with more rage.

The next day Calvin sat next to Susie at lunch.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT?" Asked Susie with yet again rage.

"Nothing I just wanted to know if you would want some of my rat poop." Said Calvin.

"Those are raisins!" Susie said.

"Are you sure? They feel to moist," said Calvin.

Susie went to the bath room to puke.

After school that day Susie was going to Calvin's house to tell him to stop being mean to her.

When she was at the front yard of Calvin's house she saw Calvin working on a monster snowman that was "eating" a snowman that looked like Susie.

Susie cracked and said "CALVIN, THIS IS THE LAST STRAW. I'M NOT GOING TO TELL BECAUSE GROUNDING HASN'T SEEMED TO HAVE TAUGHT YOU ANYTHING, BUT TOMORROW I'M GOING TO TEACH YOU A LESSON BY GOING TO WAR WITH YOU. SLUSH BALL STYLE. MEET AT THIS SPOT AT NOON TOMORROW!"


	2. Preparation

After Susie said that she left.

When she was home she got Mr. Bun and went to Walgreens to get supplies.

"Come on Mr. Bun, we're going to teach that jerk Calvin a lesson," said Susie.

Susie got slush ball guns, a snow fort book, and red bandanas.

Susie got slush ball gun- accuracy + 20

Susie got snow fort book - intelligence + 10

Susie got red bandana - awesomeness + 9999

Susie gave some stuff to Mr. Bun.

Mr. Bun got slush ball gun- accuracy + 20

Mr. Bun snow fort book - intelligence + 10

Mr. Bun got red bandana - awesomeness + 9999

* * *

Meanwhile at Calvin's house.

"Should we be worried?" Asked Hobbes.

"Why should we be?" Asked Calvin.

"I've never seen her so mad," Said Hobbes.

"You're right about that. Maybe we should prepare," Said Calvin.

"I'll go build a fort. You go make slush balls," Said Hobbes.

Calvin made 1674 slush balls.

Slush balls + 1674.

Hobbes made a strong fort.

Fort defense + 15.

"Okay, we're ready for anything, especially pelting Susie and her dumb doll when they eventually chicken out," said Calvin.

"The most important part," commented Hobbes.


	3. The Battle Begins

"Let's go fight Calvin," said Susie to Mr. Bun.

Susie took Mr. Bun to Calvin's house.

Calvin was outside in his fort.

Susie came to her fort.

"You ready to lose?" Asked Calvin.

"I think you mean, am I ready to win," said Susie.

"No, I'm pretty sure I meant are you a ready to lose," said Calvin.

Hobbes was yawning.

"What I mean is I'm going to win and you are going to lose," said Susie.

"But I just said are you ready to lose," said Calvin.

Hobbes was pulling out his fur (because he doesn't have hair).

"Can we just start?" Asked Susie.

"Ok, why not?" Asked Calvin.

* * *

Ready, Fight!

Susie shot a slush ball with her gun.

It hit.

Calvin threw a slush ball at Susie.

It missed.

Susie shot a slush ball with her gun.

It hit.

Calvin threw a slush ball at Susie.

It missed.

This went on for two and a half hours of Susie hitting him and Calvin missing her.

Calvin saw he was out of ammo. He used all 1674 slushballs and hadn't hit Susie once.

He turned to Hobbes to tell him to make some more.

Hobbes was gone.

Calvin looked at a hill 25 feet away.

Hobbes was on a heating pad eating a sandwich next to Mr. Bun.

* * *

**Calvin vs Hobbes: That's right, Calvin sees Mr. Bun as an actual bunny as he sees Hobbes as an actual tiger.**

* * *

Mr. Bun was on a heating pad eating a sandwich also.

"So you like sandwiches with tuna in them and not carrots?" Asked Mr. Bun.

"I think of tuna as edible gold," said Hobbes.

Calvin couldn't believe it. Hobbes was a traitor.

Calvin went the hill to get Hobbes.

"Hobbes you traitor!" Yelled Calvin.

" I'm not a traitor, I'm on a break," said Hobbes.

"Calvin, you're an idiot, you left your fort!" Shouted Susie from the bottom of the hill. "Wait a minute, what am I complaining for?"

Susie kicked down Calvin's fort while he was away.

Calvin and Hobbes were defenseless.


End file.
